Wednesday, 21 October 2015
The mumpreneur project: Parenting: The lessons we learn!
The mumpreneur project: Parenting: The lessons we learn!: So unique Being a parent is one of the single most unique, awesome and difficult situations, role or life events you will ever enco...
Parenting: The lessons we learn!
So unique
Being a parent is one of the single most unique, awesome and difficult situations, role or life events you will ever encounter. It's a paradox, at times it can be both a blessing and a curse. Such strong perceptions you might think, or "I wouldn't quite say that" you might retort.
Do you need parenting classes?
Let's explain further, for most things such as careers, hobbies, whatever, you do in life, you usually receive a period of preparation, training or do some sort of foundational work to teach you the necessary skills for your occupation, you even have pre-marital counselling. However, very few people have had parenting classes, have you? Additionally, people may also feel that parenting classes are only for those who have parented incorrectly.
No parenting manual
You may have heard it said that parenting doesn't come with a manual, whilst others would argue that the bible is our manual for child-rearing. Indeed this may be the case and additionally there are numerous books such as Gina Ford that have been written about parenting. However, what parenting has taught me and may have taught you is that children are unique, individual and dynamic little people. What may work for one of your children, may not work for another one of your children. There is a no one size fits all formula that you can use to raise children.
Each child is unique
To be an effective parent you really have to customise your approach and technqiue to each individual child's needs. Furthermore, with different ages may come different challenges and difficulties I am sure you have heard of the terrible twos and teenagers. Both stages of childhood, are where children are learning about their individuality, to become more self-aware, independent and are critical of the current mode of parenting. Thus clearly consistency is important in transforming and discipling children's behaviour. However it is also important to assess the rationale and the reasons that underlie your children's behaviour, their age and their personality type before dispensing and applying appropriate and constant discipline to your child.
Parenting is as much about you as your children
Moreover, being a parent although an amazing and wonderous experience, especially when you see your children achieving many of their firsts, yet it can have its distinct challenges. Parenting especially parenting two boisterous boys has taught me so much about myself. Maybe even things about myself that I would rather not know. I am sure you too have found the same. Some suggest that your children are merely miniature versions of you, for some that may be the case. However you may have also discovered that many children may be directly contrasted and different to you, which makes parenting even more difficult. Generally, because you don't really understand their rationale or their behaviour, nevertheless, the difference between your child and yourself may create barriers and make your life awkward, agitated and difficult. Nevertheless these barriers can be overcome and the breach transcended.
Your children will stretch you!
I have often been stretched beyond my capacity, I have felt overwhelmed, inadequate and sometimes question myself. I have felt unable to think and as if I lacked the necessary skills to tackle the constant crying, tantrums and hysterics (from both the two, as well as the six year old). I am sure you have felt the same. Yet somehow through the God that lives in me, I have found the strength, wisdom and creativity to tackle the situation and it has been resolved and the battle has been won. Being a mother has taught me, so much empathy, patience, resilience and tenacity. However, sometimes I don't see the skills that motherhood has taught me, nor do I see what I have learnt, what I am currently learning and that I still have so much to learn, nevertheless I do the best I can, I am doing okay and I am a good mother and so are you!
You are phenomenal!
Your children will stretch you, that's their job, they will test you, that's their job, but set your boundaries and rules and consistently apply them; no matter what. Some battles are harder than others but keep teaching them and standing firm and you win. Yes you will have dark days and difficulties days, but the lessons you are learning will transform you into the phenomenal person and your children into the phenomenal people they were meant to be.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Tuesday, 13 October 2015
Manifesting God's grace
September has been super busy and I have seen some amazing manifestations in the physical of things that I have been praying about. God has reminded me as he often does yesterday, of the fact that we are on a journey and we often go through different seasons and phases. He has also reminded me that whilst I might not always fully know and understand what he is doing I must continue to seek, know and trust that he has my back and it will all work out in the end.
Be blessed to be a blessing.
To me I believe October the 10th month of the year will be another amazing time of revelation, encounters, provision, abundance and transformation. So I ask you to share with me, what you are expecting for this month and encourage you to set your intentions for this month, focus on what you want and if you believe in God and the power of prayer. Pray and speak those things into being. Additionally I want to remind you that as you go through the last few months of this year, if you are ready and willing to see some amazing miracles in your life. Re-commit absolutely everything you do completely to God, pray for divine attraction, do you best and watch the manifestation of God in the next few weeks.
Be blessed to be a blessing
Be blessed to be a blessing.
To me I believe October the 10th month of the year will be another amazing time of revelation, encounters, provision, abundance and transformation. So I ask you to share with me, what you are expecting for this month and encourage you to set your intentions for this month, focus on what you want and if you believe in God and the power of prayer. Pray and speak those things into being. Additionally I want to remind you that as you go through the last few months of this year, if you are ready and willing to see some amazing miracles in your life. Re-commit absolutely everything you do completely to God, pray for divine attraction, do you best and watch the manifestation of God in the next few weeks.
Be blessed to be a blessing
Tuesday, 6 October 2015
Writing introductions
Your introduction is the first impression your readers will have of your writing. A good introduction will show them that you know what you're talking about and that you're going to complete the task in question. It will also make them want to carry on reading and feel well disposed to what is to come.
A bad introduction will have the opposite effect and might even prejudice the reader against the rest of the writing, even if it does improve.
The most common mistakes made by students are:
A good introduction will:
You want the examiners, to say to themselves "Good! This student has understood the question, has revised and is going to answer the question set, not another one. Let's read on!"
It might be useful for you to think of your introduction as a film trailer, not everything in the movie but the best bits to wet the reader’s appetite.
So more specifically, how do you do this?
include a "topic sentence" which indicates the main thrust of your answer.
Some would suggest that an introduction should begin as follows for example:
This essay deals with the economic and political decline in Britain's world role.
This assignment will examine Britain's peculiar unwritten constitution.
However, I would argue that the examiner knows they are reading an essay so it
might be more useful to start by focusing on the question, the key factors you
are going to explore. Then suggest which factor is the most significant and why
(thus make your judgement).
use the same, or very similar, wording as in the question. If part of the
question is "Discuss recent developments in communication technology"
then in your introduction say something like "This essay will consider
recent developments in the field of communication technology and will ...
". Don't leave any room for doubt.
Or The main reason why Stalin was able to rise to power after the death
of Lenin, was because he was the best politician for the job. Additionally…
Highlight the main themes to be discussed and briefly refer to them then
make your judgement.
The importance of introductions (and conclusions) cannot be stressed too
much.
Here are some examples of good (and bad!) introductions.
Example introductions
Imagine you are studying the mass media as part of your course and you have
been set the following essay title:
Examine the sociological evidence of stereotypes of social groups in the mass
media. What are the causes of stereotyping in the mass media and to what
extent do they influence social attitudes?
Word limit: 2000 words
Read the following examples and decide which meet the criteria for a good
introduction.
Example 1
As we all know, Britain is a multicultural society. In the 1960s many thousands
of immigrants came to the country, mostly setting up home in the major cities.
The majority of these immigrants came from the West Indies, India and
Pakistan and Hong Kong. Racism has always been a problem, with the various
groups of immigrants seen as stereotypes, although over the years there has
been increasing integration into British society, particularly by the children of
immigrant families. This is reflected in the mass media. Twenty years ago black
people were rarely seen on television and very few held jobs in the press.
However, nowadays, more and more black people work as journalists and are
thus able to look at events from a different perspective.
Your comments:
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
________
___________________________________________________________
Example 2
Stereotypes are everywhere: the reserved British, the disorganised Italians, the shopping-obsessed Japanese. This essay will talk about these stereotypes and ask if they are true. It is going to look at the different types of stereotypes and their representation in the media. The following areas will be covered: television; radio; the press, and the cinema. I will particularly look at television and ask the question "Does television reinforce these stereotypes?"
Your comments:
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Example 3
Stereotypes abound in today's society. People seem to have an innate compulsion to categorise others into various groups and then to apply rigid and limited descriptions to these groups. There are therefore, amongst others, stereotypical nationalities and races; stereotypical sexes and sexual orientations and stereotypical classes. And one place where these stereotypes often thrive is in the mass media, particularly in the tabloid press and popular television, such as in situation comedy. Some, for example Hick (1996), claim
that this is a harmless phenomenon, whereas commentators such as Ealham (1998) point to the possible dangers of obsessive stereotyping in the media.
This essay will examine what sociological evidence there is for the process of stereotyping in the mass media, and will then go on to analyse the reasons for its occurrence. The final part of the essay will ask how far society's attitudes are in fact shaped by this portrayal of the various kinds of stereotypes.
Your comments:
___________________________________________________________
____________
Introduction 1
Your tutor would read an introduction like this with a great sense of foreboding. There's no real problem with the actual English, but the writer shows no indication whatsoever of answering the question. The word 'stereotype' has been picked up on, and narrowly interpreted as meaning racial stereotype. But even then there is no attempt to focus on the actual question, and most of what is said is irrelevant. Probably a fail.
Introduction 2
Too short for a start, and not very well written (inconsistency of tenses: will/going to) No attempt to put the question into some sort of context, to get the reader interested in what's to come. At first, it looks as if stereotypes are being interpreted simply as national stereotypes and also the writer goes off on
the wrong tack: the question does not ask for a simple description nor asks
about the validity of these stereotypes. The last part of the introduction,
however, does indicate that the last part of the question will be addressed. If the writer manages to focus more on the actual question, the essay might just scrape a pass.
Introduction 3
This is a very good introduction. It's about the right length (c8%); gives a little relevant background and context, indicating that the writer has thought about what a stereotype is in its broadest interpretation; makes some initialreferences to sources; and finally focuses precisely on the question, showing
the reader that it has been fully understood and that it will be answered. Note that the wording of the final part of the introduction is very close to that of the question. If the essay follows in the same vein, it should get an excellent mark.
A bad introduction will have the opposite effect and might even prejudice the reader against the rest of the writing, even if it does improve.
The most common mistakes made by students are:
- not to include an introduction at all
- to include an introduction, but one which is unrecognizable as such
- to include too much background/historical information in the introduction
- to make the introduction too long.
A good introduction will:
- show that you are going to answer the question or complete the task
- show that you understand the issues and their implications
- show how you are going to do this by indicating the structure of your answer
- and making clear the main areas that you are going to write about (your plan).
- show evidence that you know key studies by making reference to your sources and be totally relevant.
You want the examiners, to say to themselves "Good! This student has understood the question, has revised and is going to answer the question set, not another one. Let's read on!"
It might be useful for you to think of your introduction as a film trailer, not everything in the movie but the best bits to wet the reader’s appetite.
So more specifically, how do you do this?
include a "topic sentence" which indicates the main thrust of your answer.
Some would suggest that an introduction should begin as follows for example:
This essay deals with the economic and political decline in Britain's world role.
This assignment will examine Britain's peculiar unwritten constitution.
However, I would argue that the examiner knows they are reading an essay so it
might be more useful to start by focusing on the question, the key factors you
are going to explore. Then suggest which factor is the most significant and why
(thus make your judgement).
use the same, or very similar, wording as in the question. If part of the
question is "Discuss recent developments in communication technology"
then in your introduction say something like "This essay will consider
recent developments in the field of communication technology and will ...
". Don't leave any room for doubt.
Or The main reason why Stalin was able to rise to power after the death
of Lenin, was because he was the best politician for the job. Additionally…
Highlight the main themes to be discussed and briefly refer to them then
make your judgement.
The importance of introductions (and conclusions) cannot be stressed too
much.
Here are some examples of good (and bad!) introductions.
Example introductions
Imagine you are studying the mass media as part of your course and you have
been set the following essay title:
Examine the sociological evidence of stereotypes of social groups in the mass
media. What are the causes of stereotyping in the mass media and to what
extent do they influence social attitudes?
Word limit: 2000 words
Read the following examples and decide which meet the criteria for a good
introduction.
Example 1
As we all know, Britain is a multicultural society. In the 1960s many thousands
of immigrants came to the country, mostly setting up home in the major cities.
The majority of these immigrants came from the West Indies, India and
Pakistan and Hong Kong. Racism has always been a problem, with the various
groups of immigrants seen as stereotypes, although over the years there has
been increasing integration into British society, particularly by the children of
immigrant families. This is reflected in the mass media. Twenty years ago black
people were rarely seen on television and very few held jobs in the press.
However, nowadays, more and more black people work as journalists and are
thus able to look at events from a different perspective.
Your comments:
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
________
___________________________________________________________
Example 2
Stereotypes are everywhere: the reserved British, the disorganised Italians, the shopping-obsessed Japanese. This essay will talk about these stereotypes and ask if they are true. It is going to look at the different types of stereotypes and their representation in the media. The following areas will be covered: television; radio; the press, and the cinema. I will particularly look at television and ask the question "Does television reinforce these stereotypes?"
Your comments:
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Example 3
Stereotypes abound in today's society. People seem to have an innate compulsion to categorise others into various groups and then to apply rigid and limited descriptions to these groups. There are therefore, amongst others, stereotypical nationalities and races; stereotypical sexes and sexual orientations and stereotypical classes. And one place where these stereotypes often thrive is in the mass media, particularly in the tabloid press and popular television, such as in situation comedy. Some, for example Hick (1996), claim
that this is a harmless phenomenon, whereas commentators such as Ealham (1998) point to the possible dangers of obsessive stereotyping in the media.
This essay will examine what sociological evidence there is for the process of stereotyping in the mass media, and will then go on to analyse the reasons for its occurrence. The final part of the essay will ask how far society's attitudes are in fact shaped by this portrayal of the various kinds of stereotypes.
Your comments:
___________________________________________________________
____________
Introduction 1
Your tutor would read an introduction like this with a great sense of foreboding. There's no real problem with the actual English, but the writer shows no indication whatsoever of answering the question. The word 'stereotype' has been picked up on, and narrowly interpreted as meaning racial stereotype. But even then there is no attempt to focus on the actual question, and most of what is said is irrelevant. Probably a fail.
Introduction 2
Too short for a start, and not very well written (inconsistency of tenses: will/going to) No attempt to put the question into some sort of context, to get the reader interested in what's to come. At first, it looks as if stereotypes are being interpreted simply as national stereotypes and also the writer goes off on
the wrong tack: the question does not ask for a simple description nor asks
about the validity of these stereotypes. The last part of the introduction,
however, does indicate that the last part of the question will be addressed. If the writer manages to focus more on the actual question, the essay might just scrape a pass.
Introduction 3
This is a very good introduction. It's about the right length (c8%); gives a little relevant background and context, indicating that the writer has thought about what a stereotype is in its broadest interpretation; makes some initialreferences to sources; and finally focuses precisely on the question, showing
the reader that it has been fully understood and that it will be answered. Note that the wording of the final part of the introduction is very close to that of the question. If the essay follows in the same vein, it should get an excellent mark.
Monday, 5 October 2015
Do you know your value?
I recently shared two videos entitled the blessing of singleness part 1 and part 2, although the video itself was primary aimed at single Christian women I realised that it was actually aimed at more than just this group. It was aimed at married Christian women and at women in general also.
As someone who has spent most of my life within the church, I am aware of the pressure that Christian women over a certain age experience when it comes to singlehood. It's as if whilst you are in your 20s you are fine, and everything is okay but once you head towards 29 or 30, every sister in church or family member who are Christians become concerned and worried about your marital status, suddenly your singlehood and lack of marriage proposals becomes a problem. It's as if you are no longer a valuable member of society, because no one has asked you to marry them and their is no ring on your finger.
As Christians you should be ashamed of the way you treat the single members of your church and community, especially the women and the pressure we place upon them to find an eligible partner and quick. The constant questions that are levied at these people are unacceptable and rude and where have you found support in the scriptures to treat people in this way? True the rudeness and insensitivity may not be a conscious effort at suggesting to the individual that they are not valuable as a individual or that they are not making a significant contribution to church life on their own. Nevertheless, whether intentional or not the impact is still the same.
You should always endeveaour to value and esteem your fellow brethern whether single or married, you should show them the respect they desire and deserve and most importantly you should value them as a person.
Additionally as a single person, never sell yourself short. Never settle for less than your desire or devalue yourself. Recognise who you are in the Kingdom of God, many in the bible who did great works for God such as Paul or Jesus, were single themselves.
Nevertheless, the constant question about my singlehood did irriate me, but eventually I began to ignore the insensitive questions, that one aunt in particular liked to ask.
My single sister whether Christian or not, I want you to always remember and know you value, you are worth more than rubies and diamonds. You are awesome and amazing, created with passion and for a purpose. You are phenomenal, you do not need a man to complete you and when you do have one he must appreciate your worth and recognise the rare gift he has been given in you.
Be blessed to be a blessing.
Tuesday, 22 September 2015
Work life balance - take time for you!
You may have decided to become an entrepreneur or run your own business, so that you can have an amazing work life balance, I know I did. You love what you do and are committed to your business, your calling has become your vocation and you are filled with passion and excitement for what you do.
Being with the children
Additionally, you also love being able to drop or pick up your kids up from school. Make pizzas with your children, as I will be doing later and just generally interacting and engaging with them during daytime hours and enjoy being their parents.
How to balance it all?
However, sometimes it is difficult to strike a healthy work life, balance with all the pressure you may experience as a woman. Wanting to be there for your children, to really invest in their lives. Yet also wanting to create the most successful and dynamic business for yourself and others. Wanting to create a business, were you impact and transform the lives of others, supporting them in creating the lives of their dreams.
Nourishing yourself spiritually and physically
My life lesson this week and a discussion I had with one of my client's this week was about striking an effective work life balance between being yourself, a parent/wife and running your own business. As well as factoring in time for developing, growing and marketing your business, and working with your clients. Time for being a mother and wife/partner and it is still important to include time for yourself. You cannot avoid nurturing and nourishing yourself both spiritually; through meditation or prayer and physically; through exercise and spa treatments etc... Otherwise you will have found that you have merely swapped being married to a job, to being married to your business. Yes you may have to work hard in the early years, however, how can you serve others, when you are empty yourself.
Take time for you and you will find yourself even more effective in your life transition, less overwhelmed and living an amazing journey.
You are the best and deserve the best.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Being with the children
Additionally, you also love being able to drop or pick up your kids up from school. Make pizzas with your children, as I will be doing later and just generally interacting and engaging with them during daytime hours and enjoy being their parents.
How to balance it all?
However, sometimes it is difficult to strike a healthy work life, balance with all the pressure you may experience as a woman. Wanting to be there for your children, to really invest in their lives. Yet also wanting to create the most successful and dynamic business for yourself and others. Wanting to create a business, were you impact and transform the lives of others, supporting them in creating the lives of their dreams.
My life lesson this week and a discussion I had with one of my client's this week was about striking an effective work life balance between being yourself, a parent/wife and running your own business. As well as factoring in time for developing, growing and marketing your business, and working with your clients. Time for being a mother and wife/partner and it is still important to include time for yourself. You cannot avoid nurturing and nourishing yourself both spiritually; through meditation or prayer and physically; through exercise and spa treatments etc... Otherwise you will have found that you have merely swapped being married to a job, to being married to your business. Yes you may have to work hard in the early years, however, how can you serve others, when you are empty yourself.
Take time for you and you will find yourself even more effective in your life transition, less overwhelmed and living an amazing journey.
You are the best and deserve the best.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Friday, 18 September 2015
Nobody tells you how hard it is!
Today's blog is less about transformational strategies and more about encouraging all the mums out there like myself doing the best they can, but surprised about all the hard work that is involved in being a parent. My husband has this philosophy that the only difficult stage of parenting is raising teenagers. I disagree I think every age, has it's difficulties and issues, whether it be babies, preschoolers, infant or juniors, pre-teenagers and teens. You have probably found the same and may even find yourself bemoaning, "Nobody told me how hard it was before I had children!", a friend who has 6 year old twins and I recently had this discussion. No, they never do.
I have a 2 and almost 6 year old and they both have the capacity to fill your heart with warmth at times or leave you tearing your hair out and shouting. I am sure you have found the same, but I am sure you don't ever shout. Mums with older children and far more wisdom than me, have suggested that shouting is a waste of my energy and time; maybe deep down inside I know they are right, but sometimes it's frustrating when I talk to my children and they just completely ignore me. Additionally, they are boys and I have been told that it's a masculine thing. Not sure if that is true or not. So let's be honest with each other, motherhood is hard, I am sure sometimes, you find it hard too. Nevertheless, strangers may look at your children with judgement and disdaint, I have had strangers ask me if my child was on a tag because, he was playing with a metal chain near the bus stop. I was like really, really now do you want me to forget the educational training I have had and dignify that with an answer. I guess you can tell I wasn't very happy that day, and I am not sure how you would have responded?
For mums dealing their children, it is not easy, being a parent doesn't come with a manual and nobody told you how hard it would be, but I just wanted to let you know that you are the most amazing mum ever. You are doing an awesome job, your kids value you completely and you are raising dynamic and individuals that will make an impact on the society around themselves. Don't be so hard on yourself, value and celebrate your achievements and most importantly don't judge yourself by the standards of others. You have no idea what is going on in the other person's life.
Finally I salute all the mothers reading this post, you are marvellous and be proud of your achievements.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Tuesday, 15 September 2015
40s and loving it!
I have recently joined a 40+ group on facebook and have also been talking to some friends who are either almost 40 or in their 40s. The mixed responses from these women have been insightful and varied. I am sure if you are over 35, you may have found the same. You may have friends who are in their 30s, who face the thought of turning 40, with fear and upset; complaining that they are getting old. I think your only as old as you feel, how old do you feel today? Don't get me wrong, we all have days when we feel tired, but I don't think 40 is as old as it was, when you were a child and those over 35 were referred to, as middle-aged.
Some women respond to turning 40 with amazing midlife transitions, they train for a marathon, travel the world, decide to have children or decide to change their careers. Are you one of these women? Or would you like to be?
My friend and I were discussing the wisdom of 40. The conversation went something like this. "In your twenties you are trying to work out who you are. In your thirties, you've grown up and are establishing who you are. By the forties you've fallen in love with who you are, and your pretty secure in yourself".
I love being over 40 and I am sure you feel the same, for me the saying that life begins at 40 is so true. I am sure the same is true for many of you? If it isn't for you then, there is still time for change. 40 has a vitality and freedom from the opinion of others that was not always so clear in our earlier years. You are old enough to have a level of wisdom that wasn't there in your 20s, yet young enough to take on new challenges and transform your life, into the life you desire.
Be blessed to be a blessing
Some women respond to turning 40 with amazing midlife transitions, they train for a marathon, travel the world, decide to have children or decide to change their careers. Are you one of these women? Or would you like to be?
My friend and I were discussing the wisdom of 40. The conversation went something like this. "In your twenties you are trying to work out who you are. In your thirties, you've grown up and are establishing who you are. By the forties you've fallen in love with who you are, and your pretty secure in yourself".
I love being over 40 and I am sure you feel the same, for me the saying that life begins at 40 is so true. I am sure the same is true for many of you? If it isn't for you then, there is still time for change. 40 has a vitality and freedom from the opinion of others that was not always so clear in our earlier years. You are old enough to have a level of wisdom that wasn't there in your 20s, yet young enough to take on new challenges and transform your life, into the life you desire.
Be blessed to be a blessing
Sunday, 6 September 2015
Sharing and Collaboration
Since then, an incredible and astonishing thing happened. A conversation with an inspirational friend, refined my focus and I discovered more clarity about what my sharing meant. I had shared the uplifting, unique and inspirational music of a friend without even thinking about it, and today I shared another friend's awesome writing talent.
For a long time I have known that part of my purpose has been to share and encourage others especially those of faith and women in particular. Too often you may suffer and struggle with issues in your lives in silence. Whether as Christians or just as women you may find you feel, you are not good enough to achieve your dreams. Someone during your journey has shattered your self-confidence and your ability to truly believe in your own greatness. It could be a teacher, a parent, a relative, a friend or even a work colleague. It doesn't matter who stripped your dreams away from you. They had no right to, and even more than that they lied to you, they were wrong.
You are all the things you thought you were and then some more. You were created with greatness within you, you are like a butterfly, amazing, creative, beautiful and a dynamic individual. You are unique, you are not a replica, there is no one else on this entire planet like you. You are like a butterfly, know that no one else can do what you do or how you do it. Also know that you were created with a unique and awe-inspiring purpose.
We touch and influence each others lives in some shape whether knowingly or unknowingly. Or even possibly through the 6 degrees of separation theory.
So I encourage you from today onwards, to actively and openly encourage those around you. To share your story and truth with those around you. Empower those around you to live their best lives and be the best version of themselves.
As I share my journey with you all, I encourage you to share your own. I believe we all have the power to live amazing and extraordinary lives, we just need to be that first.
Be blessed to be a blessing
Monday, 31 August 2015
He has called me to be brave and courageous!
I have never really thought of myself as brave, but I am learning to be brave. I am learning to come out of my comfort zone. I am learning that the thing that I fear the most, only has the power over me that I give it. I am learning that I am so much more able than I recognised. I am learning that when I commit my ways to God and acknowledge him, he will direct my paths. I have never seen myself as a leader but I am learning to lead.
Being a mother of two young sons and running my three businesses has taught me lessons that I am forever grateful for, I am not the woman I once was and am constantly learning and evolving and learning to be the woman God wants me to be.
Sometimes the opinions and views of others make me question and second guess my passion and my purpose. Whilst these comments are often genuine and well meaning. However, the Lord God has reminded me that the real approval that I need to seek in this life, is from God. Also this life has no rehearsals and so should be lived and enjoyed in the present as Wendy Curran has reminded me of, with the recent death of Dr. Wayne Dyer.
A few weeks ago, I talked to women who changed their careers and they have reminded me of how important it is to be fearless. I don't know if my story is unique to me or others understand my experiences, but I am learning that as I consult and am coached, that I develop, evolve, change and transform as much as my clients do. I am learning to face my fears and limitations and not be intimidated by them but to actually face them head on, challenge, conqueror them and rise above them.
As I lay the foundation for Transformational Woman and Be the Change you want to see, I am developing a new awareness, especially as a Christian woman, I need to lay my foundation on my faith in God and commit what I do to him. Abby Elitzky-Kuin and my husband have reminded and reaffirmed this for me, that I need to be transparent, genuine and authentic. I may not always be glamorous, not being glamorous doesn't prevent me from professional. Moreover, my mission isn't about glamour. It's about supporting women in transition, as they seek to transform their lives, to live the best and most authentic version of their lives. Women like me who may juggle a variety of roles, motherhood is amazing but they also know that they have other gifts they need to share with the world as well. They demonstrate that we all have struggles but these actually develop a richness and empathy within us. A vision of what you want is where you begin and developing strategies and techniques to support you on your journey and taking incremental steps supports you as your transition and transform your life into the life of your dreams.
Each of us is an individual with their own passion and purpose, I believe that when we walk in our passion and purpose, often this is blessed and anointed by the Creator. However, that doesn't mean we don't have to invest in ourselves or commit and develop and nurture our craft and what we do, of course we must. That's where and how our gift is developed, nurtured and honed.
The most high is revealing and showing me that how I see myself, is not how he sees me. To him I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am learning that I am enough just as I am to support and encourage women on their journeys to transition and transformation, for I can only be who I am and nothing more. Many may not be attracted to my message, but others will and they are my tribe.
My vision and my brand is based on my message, my content, for me it's about substance over style. Transparency, integrity and an ability to care, listen and provide an excellent and authentic service which will facilitate and support real change and transformation in the lives of women.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Being a mother of two young sons and running my three businesses has taught me lessons that I am forever grateful for, I am not the woman I once was and am constantly learning and evolving and learning to be the woman God wants me to be.
Sometimes the opinions and views of others make me question and second guess my passion and my purpose. Whilst these comments are often genuine and well meaning. However, the Lord God has reminded me that the real approval that I need to seek in this life, is from God. Also this life has no rehearsals and so should be lived and enjoyed in the present as Wendy Curran has reminded me of, with the recent death of Dr. Wayne Dyer.
A few weeks ago, I talked to women who changed their careers and they have reminded me of how important it is to be fearless. I don't know if my story is unique to me or others understand my experiences, but I am learning that as I consult and am coached, that I develop, evolve, change and transform as much as my clients do. I am learning to face my fears and limitations and not be intimidated by them but to actually face them head on, challenge, conqueror them and rise above them.
As I lay the foundation for Transformational Woman and Be the Change you want to see, I am developing a new awareness, especially as a Christian woman, I need to lay my foundation on my faith in God and commit what I do to him. Abby Elitzky-Kuin and my husband have reminded and reaffirmed this for me, that I need to be transparent, genuine and authentic. I may not always be glamorous, not being glamorous doesn't prevent me from professional. Moreover, my mission isn't about glamour. It's about supporting women in transition, as they seek to transform their lives, to live the best and most authentic version of their lives. Women like me who may juggle a variety of roles, motherhood is amazing but they also know that they have other gifts they need to share with the world as well. They demonstrate that we all have struggles but these actually develop a richness and empathy within us. A vision of what you want is where you begin and developing strategies and techniques to support you on your journey and taking incremental steps supports you as your transition and transform your life into the life of your dreams.
Each of us is an individual with their own passion and purpose, I believe that when we walk in our passion and purpose, often this is blessed and anointed by the Creator. However, that doesn't mean we don't have to invest in ourselves or commit and develop and nurture our craft and what we do, of course we must. That's where and how our gift is developed, nurtured and honed.
My vision and my brand is based on my message, my content, for me it's about substance over style. Transparency, integrity and an ability to care, listen and provide an excellent and authentic service which will facilitate and support real change and transformation in the lives of women.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Sunday, 30 August 2015
Our journey shapes us!
Today I read on Facebook that Andy and Beckie Harrington, loss their son Ashton the day before he was born. My heart goes out to them both and my prayers are with them both, during this time of loss. There is nothing that I can really say to make it any better for them, but as they turn to each other, they will strengthen each other during this time of mourning and healing.
Moreover, my heart is so touched by these events because I too have walked the road the Harrington's now tread. I was also a member of the Professional Speaker's Academy, so there is a connection for me too. When I heard about the stories of Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan pregnancy and their previous miscarriages my heart was touched. However, I didn't know how to share my story. I spoke to my coach and she felt she wasn't sure how I could link what happened to me to what I do exactly.
I believe that we must be authentic and transparent, sometimes we need to share our life experiences just so we can allow others to really understand our experiences and what makes us who we are.
I have been married for 9 nine years, and my eldest son will be 6 in October. Every year from September 2006 to October 2009, I was pregnant. Before the birth of my first son, I had three miscarriages, two early at six and five weeks. One late at between sixteen and twenty weeks.
I had gone past the 12 week period, felt that the baby was safe and was obviously showing that I was pregnant, many of my work colleagues, friends and church members knew. It was not a secret, Our scan was scheduled late for some reasons and when we went for the scan it was explained to us that the baby's heart was no longer beating and he had died. It was as if all the breath in my body had left me, had been knocked out of me and I had stopped breathing. I refused to accept what I was told, I could not accept what I was told. I had, had a miscarriage before, when you lose your baby you bleed, there was no blood. I went for another scan at another hospital. I prayed like I had never prayed before in my life, my God was a God of miracles, I knew he could resurrect the dead, this baby could live, this baby had to live; this baby must live.
I was growing, I was showing, I had a life growing inside, how could he have died and I not have known. I had not yet felt this baby kick, but because my first pregnancy had ended much earlier I didn't realised that I should have felt it kick at that stage. I went for another scan and the response was the same.
The loss of Heaven was a real test of my faith, I had no answers for why this had happened to me. As as friend had said to me previously, I had done everything right, I was married and then tried to have children. Yet I kept losing them, no one else in my family had a history of miscarriage as far as I knew at that time. Why, why, why, everything seemed to be going so well. Eight years later and even after tests on me and the baby, there was no medical reason they could give us why. I have no answers to the questions that often plague us, when we suffer loss.
Furthermore, I was completely and utterly devastated and an appointment was booked for me to be induced in a few days. When you experience a loss in this way everything is surreal for a season, you feel as if you could pinch yourself and wake up and discover it was an awful nightmare. People especially within the black and Christian community, try to say things which in their mind are comforting. Unfortunately, whatever they say always comes out wrong. For me, it wasn't what people said that helped, it was just that they were willing to be there for you.
My husband struggled to really talk about the loss of Heaven and I think it made it really hard for me to grieve properly. However I did have counselling and read as much as I could about late miscarriages, ultimately in the end this helped me on my journey to recovery, however it wasn't an easy journey; but it took determination and being real about what I felt. Additionally it is a healing process, you have lost a child, no matter how young that child maybe and you must grieve the loss of your child,
My late miscarriage, meant I had to go into hospital, to be induced and give birth to Heaven (as we called him). It was around the time when Madeline McCann went missing, so this time in my life has been indelibly etched on my brain. Additionally I had two other friends who were pregnant at the time. Moreover I was also placed on a maternity ward, and a health care assistant after the procedure thought I was still pregnant and said completely the wrong thing and cause even more emotional turmoil. I was given the pills to induce me at 12 pm and baby heaven was born at 9 pm in the evening, I didn't realise it was labour and almost gave birth to him in the toilet. However, my agony was far from over, we waited all night but the afterbirth did not come out, so at 9 am; after the doctor tried to remove it manually but failed, I was given an epidural and sent to to surgery for a D and C.
Later on that morning I was shown baby heaven, he was tiny, but so perfectly precious and perfectly formed, he was a little boy. I am grateful for being able to touch him and say good bye via the the funeral. However, it took me a long time to heal, I redeveloped my love of writing through this painful experience as it was a cathartic. I think every individual who loses a child experiences it differently, because every circumstance is different. People rarely talk about such experiences, I am not sure why but for me I need to talk about my experiences, it was necessary and healing for me. As I said earlier my husband dealt with it very differently.
For a season I questioned whether I would ever have children, as I experienced loss after loss. This was one of the hardest periods of my life. However 8 years later my life is very different and I am now a mother of two sons. I have no rationale or reason or understanding why I loss three children, before I went onto to have two healthy sons. While time may heal the rawness of the pain that we experience with the loss of a child. This child is never forgotten, and may be rarely spoken about long after the event, but will always remains in your heart, as a warm and tender memory of a person who shared your body and heart for a season. Who will always be loved by you.
I like to think of "Heaven", as waiting in Heaven to be reunited with his parents and siblings and I never forget the loss of this beautiful little boy who looked so much like my husband and who I was privileged to carry for a season. Let's not hide the loss, the suffering or the pain we encounter, let's share the impact it has had on our lives and encourage others who unfortunately must take this journey. You will never forget or get over the loss of a child, they were part of you and are no longer here. However, in time you will heal and be able to support others in the journey, with empathy and a genuine heart of compassion and comfort.
You have walked the path and know the pain and loss, but nevertheless this child was a precious gift that you will never forget and for a short time had an amazing impact on your life and remains in your heart as a warm memory of special someone who you were allowed to nurture and love for a season.
Again I am so sorry for your loss, but your pain will be a story that you use to empower others and strengthen them on their journey through the trials of life.
http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp/wp-content/leaflets/Late-Miscarriage.pdf
Moreover, my heart is so touched by these events because I too have walked the road the Harrington's now tread. I was also a member of the Professional Speaker's Academy, so there is a connection for me too. When I heard about the stories of Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan pregnancy and their previous miscarriages my heart was touched. However, I didn't know how to share my story. I spoke to my coach and she felt she wasn't sure how I could link what happened to me to what I do exactly.
I believe that we must be authentic and transparent, sometimes we need to share our life experiences just so we can allow others to really understand our experiences and what makes us who we are.
I have been married for 9 nine years, and my eldest son will be 6 in October. Every year from September 2006 to October 2009, I was pregnant. Before the birth of my first son, I had three miscarriages, two early at six and five weeks. One late at between sixteen and twenty weeks.
I had gone past the 12 week period, felt that the baby was safe and was obviously showing that I was pregnant, many of my work colleagues, friends and church members knew. It was not a secret, Our scan was scheduled late for some reasons and when we went for the scan it was explained to us that the baby's heart was no longer beating and he had died. It was as if all the breath in my body had left me, had been knocked out of me and I had stopped breathing. I refused to accept what I was told, I could not accept what I was told. I had, had a miscarriage before, when you lose your baby you bleed, there was no blood. I went for another scan at another hospital. I prayed like I had never prayed before in my life, my God was a God of miracles, I knew he could resurrect the dead, this baby could live, this baby had to live; this baby must live.
I was growing, I was showing, I had a life growing inside, how could he have died and I not have known. I had not yet felt this baby kick, but because my first pregnancy had ended much earlier I didn't realised that I should have felt it kick at that stage. I went for another scan and the response was the same.
The loss of Heaven was a real test of my faith, I had no answers for why this had happened to me. As as friend had said to me previously, I had done everything right, I was married and then tried to have children. Yet I kept losing them, no one else in my family had a history of miscarriage as far as I knew at that time. Why, why, why, everything seemed to be going so well. Eight years later and even after tests on me and the baby, there was no medical reason they could give us why. I have no answers to the questions that often plague us, when we suffer loss.
Furthermore, I was completely and utterly devastated and an appointment was booked for me to be induced in a few days. When you experience a loss in this way everything is surreal for a season, you feel as if you could pinch yourself and wake up and discover it was an awful nightmare. People especially within the black and Christian community, try to say things which in their mind are comforting. Unfortunately, whatever they say always comes out wrong. For me, it wasn't what people said that helped, it was just that they were willing to be there for you.
My husband struggled to really talk about the loss of Heaven and I think it made it really hard for me to grieve properly. However I did have counselling and read as much as I could about late miscarriages, ultimately in the end this helped me on my journey to recovery, however it wasn't an easy journey; but it took determination and being real about what I felt. Additionally it is a healing process, you have lost a child, no matter how young that child maybe and you must grieve the loss of your child,
My late miscarriage, meant I had to go into hospital, to be induced and give birth to Heaven (as we called him). It was around the time when Madeline McCann went missing, so this time in my life has been indelibly etched on my brain. Additionally I had two other friends who were pregnant at the time. Moreover I was also placed on a maternity ward, and a health care assistant after the procedure thought I was still pregnant and said completely the wrong thing and cause even more emotional turmoil. I was given the pills to induce me at 12 pm and baby heaven was born at 9 pm in the evening, I didn't realise it was labour and almost gave birth to him in the toilet. However, my agony was far from over, we waited all night but the afterbirth did not come out, so at 9 am; after the doctor tried to remove it manually but failed, I was given an epidural and sent to to surgery for a D and C.
Later on that morning I was shown baby heaven, he was tiny, but so perfectly precious and perfectly formed, he was a little boy. I am grateful for being able to touch him and say good bye via the the funeral. However, it took me a long time to heal, I redeveloped my love of writing through this painful experience as it was a cathartic. I think every individual who loses a child experiences it differently, because every circumstance is different. People rarely talk about such experiences, I am not sure why but for me I need to talk about my experiences, it was necessary and healing for me. As I said earlier my husband dealt with it very differently.
For a season I questioned whether I would ever have children, as I experienced loss after loss. This was one of the hardest periods of my life. However 8 years later my life is very different and I am now a mother of two sons. I have no rationale or reason or understanding why I loss three children, before I went onto to have two healthy sons. While time may heal the rawness of the pain that we experience with the loss of a child. This child is never forgotten, and may be rarely spoken about long after the event, but will always remains in your heart, as a warm and tender memory of a person who shared your body and heart for a season. Who will always be loved by you.
I like to think of "Heaven", as waiting in Heaven to be reunited with his parents and siblings and I never forget the loss of this beautiful little boy who looked so much like my husband and who I was privileged to carry for a season. Let's not hide the loss, the suffering or the pain we encounter, let's share the impact it has had on our lives and encourage others who unfortunately must take this journey. You will never forget or get over the loss of a child, they were part of you and are no longer here. However, in time you will heal and be able to support others in the journey, with empathy and a genuine heart of compassion and comfort.
You have walked the path and know the pain and loss, but nevertheless this child was a precious gift that you will never forget and for a short time had an amazing impact on your life and remains in your heart as a warm memory of special someone who you were allowed to nurture and love for a season.
Again I am so sorry for your loss, but your pain will be a story that you use to empower others and strengthen them on their journey through the trials of life.
http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp/wp-content/leaflets/Late-Miscarriage.pdf
Friday, 28 August 2015
Hello I am a transformational strategist!
I had a really interesting conversation with a good friend the other day who questioned the need for a transformational strategist, well actually two friends and one challenged the utility of a life coach.
My conversations with these women, made me really question my objectives and mission statement as a transformational strategist. These conversations were powerful and instrumental in supporting my clarification of my aims, objectives and outcomes.
I understand the fact that many women in transition might go to a business coach, as was suggested. However, my rebuttal and disclaimer, was that although transition and transformation in the life of a 30-50 something female professional might mean a transition into running her own business, hence the need for a business coach. This was not an imperative, the 30s-50s is one of the busy times of a woman's life, hence I feel that a woman may go through innumerable changes during this timeframe. Any of these major shifts in our lifestyles could become a focal point of transition such as parenthood, loss of a child, purchasing a home, becoming more heart centred, returning to education, redundancy and empty nest syndrome.
Moreover, if any of these factors meant that a woman let's call her "Naomi" was in transition and knew that she was no longer happy with the life she was living, she knew she needed to enact some major shifts in her life and do something different, to become who she felt she really was. Would she turn to a business coach or a transformational strategist , what do you think?
Do you ever wonder when you fell out of love with your career? Well, I help women who have fallen out of love with their career? Or do you ever wonder when your life or educational achievements failed to reflect yours aspirations? Well I help women create the life they aspire to.
When I decided to leave the teaching profession after a decade of being a teacher, I used a life coach and she supported me in reconnecting with who I really was again, as within education one can sometimes experience a sense of loss of self and identity, as your self-concept becomes embedded in the role of a teacher, the same can also be said for working in the NHS or the public sector.
My life coach assisted me in assessing and clarifying what my next steps were. It was phenomenal, she changed my life, the fact that I had trained as a life coached three years previously and had read various self-development books, was also useful a useful bonus. Had a transformational strategist existed back then, I am sure I would have used one. The same can be applied to my transition from private tuition to a transformational strategist I used a creative coach to assist me in my transition.
When we embark on a new journey, we may need support as we transition and transform, this may take the role of a strategist, consultant or accountability partner and a transformational strategist includes all these roles, it is about supporting you, encouraging and assisting you on your journey of transformation because you are phenomenal and deserve to live your best life and is just waiting for you to start your journey.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
My conversations with these women, made me really question my objectives and mission statement as a transformational strategist. These conversations were powerful and instrumental in supporting my clarification of my aims, objectives and outcomes.
I understand the fact that many women in transition might go to a business coach, as was suggested. However, my rebuttal and disclaimer, was that although transition and transformation in the life of a 30-50 something female professional might mean a transition into running her own business, hence the need for a business coach. This was not an imperative, the 30s-50s is one of the busy times of a woman's life, hence I feel that a woman may go through innumerable changes during this timeframe. Any of these major shifts in our lifestyles could become a focal point of transition such as parenthood, loss of a child, purchasing a home, becoming more heart centred, returning to education, redundancy and empty nest syndrome.
Moreover, if any of these factors meant that a woman let's call her "Naomi" was in transition and knew that she was no longer happy with the life she was living, she knew she needed to enact some major shifts in her life and do something different, to become who she felt she really was. Would she turn to a business coach or a transformational strategist , what do you think?
Do you ever wonder when you fell out of love with your career? Well, I help women who have fallen out of love with their career? Or do you ever wonder when your life or educational achievements failed to reflect yours aspirations? Well I help women create the life they aspire to.
When I decided to leave the teaching profession after a decade of being a teacher, I used a life coach and she supported me in reconnecting with who I really was again, as within education one can sometimes experience a sense of loss of self and identity, as your self-concept becomes embedded in the role of a teacher, the same can also be said for working in the NHS or the public sector.
My life coach assisted me in assessing and clarifying what my next steps were. It was phenomenal, she changed my life, the fact that I had trained as a life coached three years previously and had read various self-development books, was also useful a useful bonus. Had a transformational strategist existed back then, I am sure I would have used one. The same can be applied to my transition from private tuition to a transformational strategist I used a creative coach to assist me in my transition.
When we embark on a new journey, we may need support as we transition and transform, this may take the role of a strategist, consultant or accountability partner and a transformational strategist includes all these roles, it is about supporting you, encouraging and assisting you on your journey of transformation because you are phenomenal and deserve to live your best life and is just waiting for you to start your journey.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Wednesday, 26 August 2015
Professionalism vs Mummyism
Over the past three days I have been given a bit of a wake up call about my professionalism, the image I am attempting presenting as a transformational strategist and my personal branding.
Initially, I was a little demoralised by the feedback and questioned whether I truly had the capacity to be this awesome and great transformational strategist, that I knew I was. However, as I really reflected on what these ladies were saying and detached my feelings I recognised they were right.
I am good at what I do, really good at what I do. However, I need to remember that people and clients are attracted by visual stimuli. Whilst on the one hand my coach was right by encouraging me to continue blogging and put videos out there as a marketing tool. To raise awareness of what I do and develop a consistent online presence. However, the advice that it didn't matter what I looked like, whether I wore make-up or not and that the videos could be done on my mobile phone. All that matter was my message, were not wholly true.
Because I am working with women in transition and supporting women transform their lives I need to brand myself and present myself as a professional woman, who can support women in developing strategies and techniques to empower and enable re-tap into their passion and begin to live their purpose.
So lesson learnt this week, it is important that I clearly distinguish my multiple roles and clearly present to my clients and followers, the polished professional I am.
Additionally on rebranding myself, I also was able to walk away from this lesson, with a new client who was very pleased with my services and professionalism.
Initially, I was a little demoralised by the feedback and questioned whether I truly had the capacity to be this awesome and great transformational strategist, that I knew I was. However, as I really reflected on what these ladies were saying and detached my feelings I recognised they were right.
I am good at what I do, really good at what I do. However, I need to remember that people and clients are attracted by visual stimuli. Whilst on the one hand my coach was right by encouraging me to continue blogging and put videos out there as a marketing tool. To raise awareness of what I do and develop a consistent online presence. However, the advice that it didn't matter what I looked like, whether I wore make-up or not and that the videos could be done on my mobile phone. All that matter was my message, were not wholly true.
Because I am working with women in transition and supporting women transform their lives I need to brand myself and present myself as a professional woman, who can support women in developing strategies and techniques to empower and enable re-tap into their passion and begin to live their purpose.
So lesson learnt this week, it is important that I clearly distinguish my multiple roles and clearly present to my clients and followers, the polished professional I am.
Additionally on rebranding myself, I also was able to walk away from this lesson, with a new client who was very pleased with my services and professionalism.
Friday, 21 August 2015
Take the leap of faith!
Are you a successful professional woman who seems to have it all?
Yet deep down inside your soul, you sense a gapping hole. Do you wonder when it was you fell out of love with your career?
When and if you share your concerns with close friends, they respond quizzically to you stating that you have the perfect life, so why change it?
You look at the gulf between where you are and where you want to be. You feel intimidated and overwhelmed. Wondering how you are going to make the jump. This isn't who you are, usually you are assertive, self-assured and confident.
How can you make this leap of faith into the great unknown, so you can fulfil your inner passion and purpose.
"Understand that it is okay to be scared or uncertain, however right beyond those barriers ultimately lies your dreams." Josh Hinds
Yes it isn't going to be easy and yes there will be challenges. However, you haven't achieved your former success and got to where you are by shying away from difficulties.
So, make a decision today, decide what you want, believe it's possible; believe in yourself and set your goal.
Commit to achieving these goals in 90 days and ensure they are specific, with an outcome, have a set deadline and write them down.
Initially set 3 personal goals, raise your self-esteem and vibration, when you feel good about yourself this transforms your behaviour, posture and empowers you.
The next three goals should relate to the professional or career transition you want to make. Here's where a coach, mentor, responsibility partner or transformational strategist will be useful. They will hold you accountable in achieving the goals you have set for yourself.
The feedback from your transformational strategist, will help you refine your goals. Additionally, it will also keep you focused on transforming into your passion. Over the 90 days, you may tweak your goals to aim a little higher. Make your goals a priority, work daily on incremental steps towards your goal, to keep it manageable.
At the end of the 90 days you will reflect on your achievements, you discover your mindset had shifted. You may not achieve all 6 of your goals. Maybe only 4, but you have not failed, you been extremely successful and this is just the beginning of your journey.
"You are never to old to set another goal, or dream a new dream." C.S. Lewis
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Yet deep down inside your soul, you sense a gapping hole. Do you wonder when it was you fell out of love with your career?
When and if you share your concerns with close friends, they respond quizzically to you stating that you have the perfect life, so why change it?
You look at the gulf between where you are and where you want to be. You feel intimidated and overwhelmed. Wondering how you are going to make the jump. This isn't who you are, usually you are assertive, self-assured and confident.
How can you make this leap of faith into the great unknown, so you can fulfil your inner passion and purpose.
"Understand that it is okay to be scared or uncertain, however right beyond those barriers ultimately lies your dreams." Josh Hinds
Yes it isn't going to be easy and yes there will be challenges. However, you haven't achieved your former success and got to where you are by shying away from difficulties.
So, make a decision today, decide what you want, believe it's possible; believe in yourself and set your goal.
Commit to achieving these goals in 90 days and ensure they are specific, with an outcome, have a set deadline and write them down.
Initially set 3 personal goals, raise your self-esteem and vibration, when you feel good about yourself this transforms your behaviour, posture and empowers you.
The next three goals should relate to the professional or career transition you want to make. Here's where a coach, mentor, responsibility partner or transformational strategist will be useful. They will hold you accountable in achieving the goals you have set for yourself.
The feedback from your transformational strategist, will help you refine your goals. Additionally, it will also keep you focused on transforming into your passion. Over the 90 days, you may tweak your goals to aim a little higher. Make your goals a priority, work daily on incremental steps towards your goal, to keep it manageable.
At the end of the 90 days you will reflect on your achievements, you discover your mindset had shifted. You may not achieve all 6 of your goals. Maybe only 4, but you have not failed, you been extremely successful and this is just the beginning of your journey.
"You are never to old to set another goal, or dream a new dream." C.S. Lewis
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Thursday, 20 August 2015
Transforming into your passion!
Today I am sharing the stories of 4 women who have transformed into their passion, these women have amazing stories of how as mothers, single parents and whilst raising young children. They were fearless enough to decide that they would not be limited by the challenges and difficulties they encountered as mothers but would overcome the challenges they faced and live their best lives, as a role model for their children.
These women all have very different stories, but the common denominator has been that they have all been single parents or joint parents. They have been compelled to live their best lives for their children. The career choices have been made to support the needs of their children and the desire to be at home with them, when they got home from school.
Some have worked as legal secretaries, nurses, upmarket market stall holders, coffee shop and deli owners. Ultimately, as their children have gotten older and have needed them less, these women have chosen to transition into their passions.
Moreover, for Esther her discovery that both her and her son had dyslexia sent her on a whole new trajectory, which has meant that she has trained in mediation, completed an advanced diploma in dyslexia for Higher Education and has worked as a Behavioural Consultant in Ealing. Her next step in her career is Equality and Diversity and supporting the embedding of conflict resolution into teacher training. Esther's advice to any woman in transition is "Be fearless your life is a blank canvas ".
Pina has gone from running a coffee shop and a deli, as she raised her son to completing her psychotherapy degree. She is now both a successful Business Mentor and Psychotherapist. Pina believes women can do amazing things and talked about the "Power of a woman" and for her, it's about enjoying life as she lives her passion.
Ingrid began as a legal secretary with two young boys. Later she felt compelled to follow her passion for nursing, completed a nursing degree and has been a district nurse manager for the past ten years and will be starting a course to train as a health visitor in September. Ingrid felt that if you don't pursue your passion, you will always regret it. "Better to try and fail, than never to try at all!"
Vanessa trained to be a nurse, whilst her oldest children were still young. She had since gone on to work in PR, she had been a health coach and is currently training to become an interior architect. She believes that many women are part of a new movement. Where they recognised that "age ain't nothing but a number ". "We can be exactly who we are!"
These women all have very different stories, but the common denominator has been that they have all been single parents or joint parents. They have been compelled to live their best lives for their children. The career choices have been made to support the needs of their children and the desire to be at home with them, when they got home from school.
Some have worked as legal secretaries, nurses, upmarket market stall holders, coffee shop and deli owners. Ultimately, as their children have gotten older and have needed them less, these women have chosen to transition into their passions.
Moreover, for Esther her discovery that both her and her son had dyslexia sent her on a whole new trajectory, which has meant that she has trained in mediation, completed an advanced diploma in dyslexia for Higher Education and has worked as a Behavioural Consultant in Ealing. Her next step in her career is Equality and Diversity and supporting the embedding of conflict resolution into teacher training. Esther's advice to any woman in transition is "Be fearless your life is a blank canvas ".
Pina has gone from running a coffee shop and a deli, as she raised her son to completing her psychotherapy degree. She is now both a successful Business Mentor and Psychotherapist. Pina believes women can do amazing things and talked about the "Power of a woman" and for her, it's about enjoying life as she lives her passion.
Ingrid began as a legal secretary with two young boys. Later she felt compelled to follow her passion for nursing, completed a nursing degree and has been a district nurse manager for the past ten years and will be starting a course to train as a health visitor in September. Ingrid felt that if you don't pursue your passion, you will always regret it. "Better to try and fail, than never to try at all!"
Vanessa trained to be a nurse, whilst her oldest children were still young. She had since gone on to work in PR, she had been a health coach and is currently training to become an interior architect. She believes that many women are part of a new movement. Where they recognised that "age ain't nothing but a number ". "We can be exactly who we are!"
Tuesday, 18 August 2015
5 reasons why every woman needs coaching.
Every woman needs coaching because we can all find ourselves at a crossroads in life, no matter how successful we are at our careers. We can all wonder when we fell out of love with our careers. So need to find a way to reignite our passion. We can all feel the need for change, but lack clarity on the steps necessary for our transition.
1. I believe that women have an amazing positive feminine energy which when focused and committed can truly, dynamically transform and influence the lives and those around us.
Coaching can help harness this feminine energy and support you to create the life you want.
2. Procrastination can prevent you from really making the changes you want in your journey. They can leave you in self-doubt and dithering about your future.
Coaching can really support you in attaining clarity in your mind about your next steps.
3. As you look at the gulf between your current situation and where you want to get to, it can feel overwhelming.
Coaching can offer you an action plan, strategies and techniques' to support your transition into your purpose.
4. In your current career you may find that you are self-assured, assertive, confident and in complete control. However, when you think about what to do next, you find yourself, overwhelmed, unsure, unfocused and confused.
Coaching can refine your focus, as you examine your belief system and mindset; it can refocus you on who ulu really are and support you in celebrating your achievements. This will reaffirm your greatness, inspire and motivate you on your journey as you realise untapped potential.
5. As women we are relational, we are mumpreneurs, although we may have successful careers and not be running our own business. Nevertheless, we often define ourselves in relation to the roles we play as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters and friends, in addition to our careers. We are inter-dependent and we need connection. We need our tribe, we need someone to bounce ideas off.
A coach can listen and offer suggestions they support us as we navigate through life and continue on our journey.
A good coach does not only support your transition between careers. We are multi-dimensional women, who are holistic. A good coach provides support in whatever area we need. Supporting us in gaining clarity and a roadmap for our new path ahead.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
1. I believe that women have an amazing positive feminine energy which when focused and committed can truly, dynamically transform and influence the lives and those around us.
Coaching can help harness this feminine energy and support you to create the life you want.
2. Procrastination can prevent you from really making the changes you want in your journey. They can leave you in self-doubt and dithering about your future.
Coaching can really support you in attaining clarity in your mind about your next steps.
3. As you look at the gulf between your current situation and where you want to get to, it can feel overwhelming.
Coaching can offer you an action plan, strategies and techniques' to support your transition into your purpose.
4. In your current career you may find that you are self-assured, assertive, confident and in complete control. However, when you think about what to do next, you find yourself, overwhelmed, unsure, unfocused and confused.
Coaching can refine your focus, as you examine your belief system and mindset; it can refocus you on who ulu really are and support you in celebrating your achievements. This will reaffirm your greatness, inspire and motivate you on your journey as you realise untapped potential.
5. As women we are relational, we are mumpreneurs, although we may have successful careers and not be running our own business. Nevertheless, we often define ourselves in relation to the roles we play as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters and friends, in addition to our careers. We are inter-dependent and we need connection. We need our tribe, we need someone to bounce ideas off.
A coach can listen and offer suggestions they support us as we navigate through life and continue on our journey.
A good coach does not only support your transition between careers. We are multi-dimensional women, who are holistic. A good coach provides support in whatever area we need. Supporting us in gaining clarity and a roadmap for our new path ahead.
Be blessed to be a blessing!
Friday, 17 July 2015
The mumpreneur project: Raising Boys
The mumpreneur project: Raising Boys: I find being a mother one of the hardest jobs in the world I have ever had to do, people constantly tell me it gets easier. However it'...
Raising Boys
I find being a mother one of the hardest jobs in the world I have ever had to do, people constantly tell me it gets easier. However it's been almost 6 years and whilst I may now be able to sleep at night; it hasn't got easier yet for me the challenges just change and new strategies and techniques are constantly necessary to manage the behaviour of the almost 6 and 2 year old
Today I had a really interesting conversation over a hot chocolate with a few other mums about our 5 year old sons, their reception reports and open evening.
It was really encouraging and I am so glad I took the time to sit and talk to them. I find sometimes I think that I am the only one struggling with my small boys and that everyone else's children are perfect, they always listen to their mums and their children and gorgeous little angels. Clearly that is not the case and unrealistic, but my imagination does like to run away with itself at times. During those events I wonder why I can never get anything, why I can't get my 5 and 2 year olds to listen to me. Also whether I need to do a clown training course or wear a minions costume to keep them from getting bored and get them to follow instructions.
As women we can sometimes but so much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect parents and constantly question, whether our parenting skills are perfect. At the end of the day, each child is different and may require different skills and techniques to ensure they live their best lives possible. Some children are shy, other children are loud, some or quiet and others are boisterous, for each child we may need a different skills set and strategies to bring out the best in our child. Their is no perfect parenting technique, all we can do is our best and customised our strategies to suit the personality and characteristics of the individual child. Each child may reach the required milestones at different times and not always at the set times that educational experts claim they will. However our children will learn the things they need to learn in time and all we can do is our best as we support them on their journey through life, to independence and become confident and phenomenal people one day.
Nevertheless, the crux of the matter is that 5 year old and even 8 year old boys (probably a 2 year old) struggle to not to touch things and they struggle to concentrate for any period of time and their default mode is to fidget. Hence the problematic bus journey experience on the way home and to school.
However this conservation reminded me that our role as parents is to support and encourage our sons to the best of our abilities. To focus and really praise their strengths, rather constantly reprimanding them for their problems and difficulties. When I praise and encourage my son he is almost like a flower, he smiles and he seems to open up and thrive. When I criticise him and tell him off, the response is not so great.
Moreover, because my son seems to have the attention span of a gnat, I am increasingly beginning to think that education is not specifically tailored for boys and more suited to needs and the energy and focus of girls. Girls energies are to sit, discuss and listen, however boys are extremely active and boisterous and seem to need to be constantly on the go. Additionally, they do seem to struggle to express themselves at the time and often choose not to say anything rather than explain something to you.
I also read an article which I just shared earlier which served to confirm this point further.
My son has an obsession with running all them time and to no where particular. My son needs to be constantly entertained and staying in his seat is very difficult for him, he also like to touch things. When I say thinks I mean any thing, plants, trees, insects, leaves, walls, rubbish people have put on the floor just anything. Another parent has suggested getting a stress ball so he can touch that instead.
I am also going to do research on concentration exercises and discuss why he can play on the tablet for hours and not focus on the bus for 5 minutes.
However, this morning's conversation and the article I read earlier and attached has enabled me to now recognise that is part of his DNA and although I might consistently attempt to curb it, because that is who he is and how he expresses himself I need to tackle these issues differently.
Thus, encourage the daily running that is so essential and necessary from him, however makes it difficult to walk down a road, without getting in the way of others. Encourage the running in a more structured and daily routine way, everyday go to the park and race with his little brother for 10 minutes, whether before or after school.
Additionally rather than getting angry and shouting, when my son is being naughty or not leaving the house on time, touching everything he can find and not walking with me so we can go to school. Trying to run off and walk on his own. Giving him more time to get ready, and not rushing the whole leaving the house process. Leaving the house extra early and getting up early so he can dither as much as he wants. When I loose my patience trying the technique posted in the earlier article of leaving the room and screaming into a pillow in another room.
I have found strategies for the bus, you tube; but these are some of the strategies for the journey from home to the bus stop, from the bus stop to school and back again.
Regarding the concentration exercise... I need to do some more research on that.
So if you are a mother raising boys, yes it is definitely hard work, because of their boisterousness and high energy, but be encouraged that there are strategies which can support you and begin to see their world from their perspective.
Be blessed to be a blessing
We can do this
Nevertheless, the crux of the matter is that 5 year old and even 8 year old boys (probably a 2 year old) struggle to not to touch things and they struggle to concentrate for any period of time and their default mode is to fidget. Hence the problematic bus journey experience on the way home and to school.
Moreover, because my son seems to have the attention span of a gnat, I am increasingly beginning to think that education is not specifically tailored for boys and more suited to needs and the energy and focus of girls. Girls energies are to sit, discuss and listen, however boys are extremely active and boisterous and seem to need to be constantly on the go. Additionally, they do seem to struggle to express themselves at the time and often choose not to say anything rather than explain something to you.
My son has an obsession with running all them time and to no where particular. My son needs to be constantly entertained and staying in his seat is very difficult for him, he also like to touch things. When I say thinks I mean any thing, plants, trees, insects, leaves, walls, rubbish people have put on the floor just anything. Another parent has suggested getting a stress ball so he can touch that instead.
I am also going to do research on concentration exercises and discuss why he can play on the tablet for hours and not focus on the bus for 5 minutes.
However, this morning's conversation and the article I read earlier and attached has enabled me to now recognise that is part of his DNA and although I might consistently attempt to curb it, because that is who he is and how he expresses himself I need to tackle these issues differently.
Thus, encourage the daily running that is so essential and necessary from him, however makes it difficult to walk down a road, without getting in the way of others. Encourage the running in a more structured and daily routine way, everyday go to the park and race with his little brother for 10 minutes, whether before or after school.
Additionally rather than getting angry and shouting, when my son is being naughty or not leaving the house on time, touching everything he can find and not walking with me so we can go to school. Trying to run off and walk on his own. Giving him more time to get ready, and not rushing the whole leaving the house process. Leaving the house extra early and getting up early so he can dither as much as he wants. When I loose my patience trying the technique posted in the earlier article of leaving the room and screaming into a pillow in another room.
I have found strategies for the bus, you tube; but these are some of the strategies for the journey from home to the bus stop, from the bus stop to school and back again.
Regarding the concentration exercise... I need to do some more research on that.
So if you are a mother raising boys, yes it is definitely hard work, because of their boisterousness and high energy, but be encouraged that there are strategies which can support you and begin to see their world from their perspective.
Be blessed to be a blessing
We can do this
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