Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Parenting: The lessons we learn!


So unique

Being a parent is one of the single most unique, awesome and difficult situations, role or life events you will ever encounter.  It's a paradox, at times it can be both a blessing and a curse.  Such strong perceptions you might think, or "I wouldn't quite say that" you might retort.



Do you need parenting classes?

Let's explain further, for most things such as careers, hobbies, whatever, you do in life, you usually receive a period of preparation, training or do some sort of foundational work to teach you the necessary skills for your occupation, you even have pre-marital counselling.  However, very few people have had parenting classes, have you?  Additionally, people may also feel that parenting classes are only for those who have parented incorrectly.




No parenting manual

You may have heard it said that parenting doesn't come with a manual, whilst others would argue that the bible is our manual for child-rearing.  Indeed this may be the case and additionally there are numerous books such as Gina Ford that have been written about parenting.  However, what parenting has taught me and may have taught you is that children are unique, individual and dynamic little people.  What may work for one of your children, may not work for another one of your children.  There is a no one size fits all formula that you can use to raise children.  


Each child is unique

To be an effective parent you really have to customise your approach and technqiue to each individual child's needs.  Furthermore, with different ages may come different challenges and difficulties I am sure you have heard of the terrible twos and teenagers.  Both stages of childhood, are where children are learning about their individuality, to become more self-aware, independent and are critical of the current mode of parenting.  Thus clearly consistency is important in transforming and discipling children's behaviour.  However it is also important to assess the rationale and the reasons that underlie your children's behaviour, their age and their personality type before dispensing and applying appropriate and constant discipline to your child.  

  

Parenting is as much about you as your children

Moreover, being a parent although an amazing and wonderous experience, especially when you see your children achieving many of their firsts, yet it can have its distinct challenges.  Parenting especially parenting two boisterous boys has taught me so much about myself.  Maybe even things about myself that I would rather not know.  I am sure you too have found the same.  Some suggest that your children are merely miniature versions of you, for some that may be the case.  However you may have also discovered that many children may be directly contrasted and different to you, which makes parenting even more difficult.  Generally, because you don't really understand their rationale or their behaviour, nevertheless, the difference between your child and yourself may create barriers and make your life awkward, agitated and difficult.  Nevertheless these barriers can be overcome and the breach transcended.


Your children will stretch you!




I have often been stretched beyond my capacity, I have felt overwhelmed, inadequate and sometimes question myself.  I have felt unable to think and as if I lacked the necessary skills to tackle the constant crying, tantrums and hysterics (from both the two, as well as the six year old).  I am sure you have felt the same.  Yet somehow through the God that lives in me, I have found the strength, wisdom and creativity to tackle the situation and it has been resolved and the battle has been won.  Being a mother has taught me, so much empathy, patience, resilience and tenacity.  However, sometimes I don't see the skills that motherhood has taught me, nor do I see what I have learnt, what I am currently learning and that I still have so much to learn, nevertheless I do the best I can, I am doing okay and I am a good mother and so are you!


You are phenomenal!

Your children will stretch you, that's their job, they will test you, that's their job, but set your boundaries and rules and consistently apply them; no matter what.  Some battles are harder than others but keep teaching them and standing firm and you win.  Yes you will have dark days and difficulties days, but the lessons you are learning will transform you into the phenomenal person and your children into the phenomenal people they were meant to be.

Be blessed to be a blessing!

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