He has called me to be brave and courageous!

I have never really thought of myself as brave, but I am learning to be brave.  I am learning to come out of my comfort zone.  I am learning that the thing that I fear the most, only has the power over me that I give it.  I am learning that I am so much more able than I recognised.  I am learning that when I commit my ways  to God and acknowledge him, he will direct my paths.  I have never seen myself as a leader but I am learning to lead.

Being a mother of two young sons and running my three businesses has taught me lessons that I am forever grateful for, I am not the woman I once was and am constantly learning and evolving and learning to be the woman God wants me to be.

Sometimes the opinions and views of others make me question and second guess my passion and my purpose.  Whilst these comments are often genuine and well meaning.  However, the Lord God has reminded me that the real approval that I need to seek in this life, is from God.  Also this life has no rehearsals and so should be lived and enjoyed in the present as Wendy Curran has reminded me of, with the recent death of Dr. Wayne Dyer.

A few weeks ago, I talked to women who changed their careers and they have reminded me of how important it is to be fearless.  I don't know if my story is unique to me or others understand my experiences, but I am learning that as I consult and am coached, that I develop, evolve, change and transform as much as my clients do.  I am learning to face my fears and limitations and not be intimidated by them but to actually face them head on, challenge, conqueror them and rise above them.

As I lay the foundation for Transformational Woman and Be the Change you want to see, I am developing a new awareness, especially as a Christian woman, I need to lay my foundation on my faith in God and commit what I do to him. Abby Elitzky-Kuin and my husband have reminded and reaffirmed this for me, that I need to be transparent, genuine and authentic.  I may not always be glamorous, not being glamorous doesn't prevent me from professional.  Moreover, my mission isn't about glamour.  It's about supporting women in transition, as they seek to transform their lives, to live the best and most authentic version of their lives.  Women like me who may juggle a variety of roles, motherhood is amazing but they also know that they have other gifts they need to share with the world as well.  They demonstrate that we all have struggles but these actually develop a richness and empathy within us.  A vision of what you want is where you begin and developing strategies and techniques to support you on your journey and taking incremental steps supports you as your transition and transform your life into the life of your dreams.

Each of us is an individual with their own passion and purpose, I believe that when we walk in our passion and purpose, often this is blessed and anointed by the Creator.  However, that doesn't mean we don't have to invest in ourselves or commit and develop and nurture our craft and what we do, of course we must. That's where and how our gift is developed, nurtured and honed.

The most high is revealing and showing me that how I see myself, is not how he sees me.  To him I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am learning that I am enough just as I am to support and encourage women on their journeys to transition and transformation, for I can only be who I am and nothing more.  Many may not be attracted to my message, but others will and they are my tribe.

My vision and my brand is based on my message, my content, for me it's about substance over style. Transparency, integrity and an ability to care, listen and provide an excellent and authentic service which will facilitate and support real change and transformation in the lives of women.

Be blessed to be a blessing!

Our journey shapes us!

Today I read on Facebook that Andy and Beckie Harrington, loss their son Ashton the day before he was born.  My heart goes out to them both and my prayers are with them both, during this time of loss.  There is nothing that I can really say to make it any better for them, but as they turn to each other, they will strengthen each other during this time of mourning and healing.

Moreover, my heart is so touched by these events because I too have walked the road the Harrington's now tread.   I was also a member of the Professional Speaker's Academy, so there is a connection for me too.  When I heard about the stories of Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan pregnancy and their previous miscarriages my heart was touched.  However, I didn't know how to share my story.  I spoke to my coach and she felt she wasn't sure how I could link what happened to me to what I do exactly.

I believe that we must be authentic and transparent, sometimes we need to share our life experiences just so we can allow others to really understand our experiences and what makes us who we are.

I have been married for 9 nine years, and my eldest son will be 6 in October.  Every year from September 2006 to October 2009, I was pregnant.  Before the birth of my first son, I had three miscarriages, two early at six and five weeks.   One late at between sixteen and twenty weeks.

I had gone past the 12 week period, felt that the baby was safe and was obviously showing that I was pregnant, many of my work colleagues, friends and church members knew.  It was not a secret, Our scan was scheduled late for some reasons and when we went for the scan it was explained to us that the baby's heart was no longer beating and he had died.  It was as if all the breath in my body had left me, had been knocked out of me and I had stopped breathing.  I refused to accept what I was told, I could not accept what I was told.  I had, had a miscarriage before, when you lose your baby you bleed, there was no blood.  I went for another scan at another hospital.  I prayed like I had never prayed before in my life, my God was a God of miracles, I knew he could resurrect the dead, this baby could live, this baby had to live; this baby must live.

I was growing, I was showing, I had a life growing inside, how could he have died and I not have  known.  I had not yet felt this baby kick, but because my first pregnancy had ended much earlier I didn't realised that I should have felt it kick at that stage.  I went for another scan and the response was the same.

The loss of Heaven was a real test of my faith, I had no answers for why this had happened to me.  As as friend had said to me previously, I had done everything right, I was married and then tried to have children.  Yet I kept losing them, no one else in my family had a history of miscarriage as far as I knew at that time.  Why, why, why, everything seemed to be going so well.  Eight years later and even after tests on me and the baby, there was no medical reason they could give us why.  I have no answers to the questions that often plague us, when we suffer loss.

Furthermore, I was completely and utterly devastated and an appointment was booked for me to be induced in a few days.  When you experience a loss in this way everything is surreal for a season, you feel as if you could pinch yourself and wake up and discover it was an awful nightmare.  People especially within the black and Christian community, try to say things which in their mind are comforting.  Unfortunately, whatever they say always comes out wrong.  For me, it wasn't what people said that helped, it was just that they were willing to be there for you.

My husband struggled to really talk about the loss of Heaven and I think it made it really hard for me to grieve properly.  However I did have counselling and read as much as I could about late miscarriages, ultimately in the end this helped me on my journey to recovery, however it wasn't an easy journey; but it took determination and being real about what I felt.  Additionally it is a healing process, you have lost a child, no matter how young that child maybe and you must grieve the loss of your child,

My late miscarriage, meant I had to go into hospital, to be induced and give birth to Heaven (as we called him).  It was around the time when Madeline McCann went missing, so this time in my life has been indelibly etched on my brain.  Additionally I had two other friends who were pregnant at the time.  Moreover I was also placed on a maternity ward, and a health care assistant after the procedure thought I was still pregnant and said completely the wrong thing and cause even more emotional turmoil. I was given the pills to induce me at 12 pm and baby heaven was born at 9 pm in the evening, I didn't realise it was labour and almost gave birth to him in the toilet.  However, my agony was far from over, we waited all night but the afterbirth did not come out, so at 9 am; after the doctor tried to remove it manually but failed, I was given an epidural and sent to to surgery for a D and C.

Later on that morning I was shown baby heaven, he was tiny, but so perfectly precious and perfectly formed, he was a little boy.  I am grateful for being able to touch him and say good bye via the the funeral.  However, it took me a long time to heal, I redeveloped my love of writing through this painful experience as it was a cathartic.  I think every individual who loses a child experiences it differently, because every circumstance is different.  People rarely talk about such experiences, I am not sure why but for me I need to talk about my experiences, it was necessary and healing for me.  As I said earlier my husband dealt with it very differently.

For a season I questioned whether I would ever have children, as I experienced loss after loss.   This was one of the hardest periods of my life.   However 8 years later my life is very different and I am now a mother of two sons.  I have no rationale or reason or understanding why I loss three children, before I went onto to have two healthy sons. While time may heal the rawness of the pain that we experience with the loss of a child.  This child is never forgotten, and may be rarely spoken about long after the event, but will always remains in your heart, as a warm and tender memory of a person who shared your body and heart for a season. Who will always be loved by you.

I like to think of "Heaven", as waiting in Heaven to be reunited with his parents and siblings and I never forget the loss of this beautiful little boy who looked so much like my husband and who I was privileged to carry for a season.  Let's not hide the loss, the suffering or the pain we encounter, let's share the impact it has had on our lives and encourage others who unfortunately must take this journey.  You will never forget or get over the loss of a child, they were part of you and are no longer here.  However, in time you will heal and be able to support others in the journey, with empathy and a genuine heart of compassion and comfort.

You have walked the path and know the pain and loss, but nevertheless this child was a precious gift that you will never forget and for a short time had an amazing impact on your life and remains in your heart as a warm memory of special someone who you were allowed to nurture and love for a season.

Again I am so sorry for your loss, but your pain will be a story that you use to empower others and strengthen them on their journey through the trials of life.

http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp/wp-content/leaflets/Late-Miscarriage.pdf

Hello I am a transformational strategist!

I had a really interesting conversation with a good friend the other day who questioned the need for a transformational strategist, well actually two friends and one challenged the utility of a life coach.



My conversations with these women, made me really question my objectives and mission statement as a transformational strategist.  These conversations were  powerful and instrumental in supporting my clarification of my aims, objectives and outcomes.

I understand the fact that many women in transition might go to a business coach, as was suggested.  However, my rebuttal and disclaimer, was that although transition and transformation in the life of a 30-50 something female professional might mean a transition into running her own business, hence the need for a business coach.  This was not an imperative, the 30s-50s is one of the busy times of a woman's life, hence I feel that a woman may go through innumerable changes during this timeframe.  Any of these major shifts in our lifestyles could become a focal point of transition such as parenthood, loss of a child, purchasing a home, becoming more heart centred,  returning to education, redundancy and empty nest syndrome.

Moreover, if any of these factors meant that a woman let's call her "Naomi" was in transition and knew that she was no longer happy with the life she was living, she knew she needed to enact some major shifts in her  life and do something different, to become who she felt she really was. Would she turn to a business coach or a transformational strategist , what do you think?




Do you ever wonder when you fell out of love with your career? Well, I help women who have fallen out of love with their career? Or do you ever wonder when your life or educational achievements failed to reflect yours aspirations? Well I help women create the life they aspire to.

When I decided to leave the teaching profession after a decade of being a teacher, I used a life coach and she supported me in reconnecting with who I really was  again, as within education  one can sometimes experience a sense of loss of self and identity, as your self-concept becomes embedded in the role of a teacher, the same can also be said for working in the NHS or the public sector.

My life coach assisted me in assessing and clarifying what my next steps were.  It was phenomenal, she changed my life, the fact that I had trained as a life coached three years previously and had read various self-development books, was also useful a useful bonus.  Had a transformational strategist existed back then, I am sure I would have used one.    The same can be applied to my transition from private tuition to a transformational strategist I used a creative coach to assist me in my transition.

When we embark on a new journey, we may need support as we transition and transform, this may take the role of a strategist, consultant or accountability partner and a  transformational strategist includes all these roles, it is  about supporting you, encouraging and assisting you on your journey of transformation because you are phenomenal and deserve to live your best life and is just waiting for you to start your journey.

Be blessed to be a blessing!

Professionalism vs Mummyism

Over the past three days I have been given a bit of a wake up call about my professionalism, the image I am attempting presenting as a transformational strategist and my personal branding.


Initially, I was a little demoralised by the feedback and questioned whether I truly had the capacity to be this awesome and great transformational strategist, that I knew I was.  However, as I really reflected on what these ladies were saying and detached my feelings I recognised they were right.


I am good at what I do, really good at what I do.  However, I need to remember that people and clients are attracted by visual stimuli.   Whilst on the one hand my coach was right by encouraging me to continue blogging and put videos out there as a marketing tool.  To raise awareness of what I do and develop a consistent online presence.  However, the advice that it didn't matter what I looked like, whether I wore make-up or not and that the videos could be done on my mobile phone.  All that matter was my message, were not wholly true.


Because I am working with women in transition and supporting women transform their lives I need to brand myself and present myself as a professional woman, who can support women in developing strategies and techniques to empower and enable re-tap into their passion and begin to live their purpose.

So lesson learnt this week, it is important that I clearly distinguish my multiple roles and clearly present to my clients and followers, the polished professional I am.

Additionally on rebranding myself, I also was able to walk away from this lesson, with a new client who was very pleased with my services and professionalism.

Take the leap of faith!

Are you a successful professional woman who seems to have it all?

Yet deep down inside your soul, you sense a gapping hole.  Do you wonder when it was you fell out of love with your career?

When and if you share your concerns with close friends, they respond quizzically to you stating that you have the perfect life, so why change it?

You look at the gulf between where you are and where you want to be.  You feel intimidated and overwhelmed. Wondering how you are going to make the jump.   This isn't who you are,  usually you are assertive, self-assured and confident.

How can you make this leap of faith into the great unknown, so you can fulfil your inner passion and purpose.

"Understand that it is okay to be scared or uncertain, however right beyond those barriers ultimately lies your dreams." Josh Hinds

Yes it isn't going to be easy and yes there will be challenges.   However,  you haven't achieved your former success and got to where you are by shying away from difficulties.

So, make a decision today, decide what you want, believe it's possible; believe in yourself and set your goal.

Commit to achieving these goals in 90 days and ensure they are specific, with an outcome, have a set deadline and write them down.

Initially set 3 personal goals, raise your self-esteem and vibration, when you feel good about yourself this transforms your behaviour, posture and empowers you.

The next three goals should relate to the professional or career transition you want to make.   Here's where a coach, mentor, responsibility partner or transformational strategist will be useful.   They will hold you accountable in achieving the goals you have set for yourself.

The feedback from your transformational strategist, will help you refine your goals.   Additionally, it will also keep you focused on transforming into your passion.   Over the 90 days, you may tweak your goals to aim a little higher.  Make your goals a priority, work daily on incremental steps towards your goal, to keep it manageable.

At the end of the 90 days you will reflect on your achievements, you discover your mindset had shifted.  You may not achieve all 6 of your goals.  Maybe only 4, but you have not failed, you been extremely successful and this is just the beginning of your journey.

"You are never to old to set another goal, or dream a new dream."  C.S. Lewis

Be blessed to be a blessing!

Transforming into your passion!

Today I am sharing the stories of 4 women who have transformed into their passion, these women have amazing stories of how as mothers, single parents and whilst  raising young children.  They were fearless enough to decide that they would not be limited by the challenges and difficulties they encountered as mothers but would overcome the challenges they faced and live their best lives, as a role model for their children.

These women all have very different stories, but the common denominator has been that they have all been single parents or joint parents.  They have been compelled to live their best lives for their children.   The career choices have been made to support the needs of their children and the desire to be at home with them, when they got home from school.

Some have worked as legal secretaries, nurses, upmarket market stall holders, coffee shop and deli owners.  Ultimately, as their children have gotten older and have needed them less, these women have chosen to transition into their passions.

 Moreover, for Esther her discovery that both her and her son had dyslexia sent her on a whole new trajectory,  which has meant that she has trained in mediation, completed an advanced diploma in dyslexia for Higher Education and has worked as a Behavioural Consultant in Ealing.  Her next step in her career is Equality and Diversity and supporting the embedding of conflict resolution into teacher training.  Esther's advice to any woman in transition is "Be fearless your life is a blank canvas ".

Pina has gone from running a coffee shop and a deli, as she raised her son to completing her psychotherapy degree.  She is now both a successful Business Mentor and Psychotherapist.  Pina believes women can do amazing things and talked about the "Power of a woman" and for her, it's about enjoying life as she lives her passion.

Ingrid began as a legal secretary with two young boys.  Later she felt compelled to follow her passion for nursing, completed a nursing degree and has been a district nurse manager for the past ten years and will be starting a course to train as a health visitor in September.  Ingrid felt that if you don't pursue your passion, you will always regret it.  "Better to try and fail, than never to try at all!"

Vanessa trained to be a nurse, whilst her oldest children were still young.  She had since gone on to work in PR, she had been a health coach and is currently training to become an interior architect.   She believes that many women are part of a new movement. Where they recognised that "age ain't nothing but a number ".  "We can be exactly who we are!"

5 reasons why every woman needs coaching.

Every woman needs coaching because we can all find ourselves at a crossroads in life, no matter how successful we are at our careers. We can all wonder when we fell out of love with our careers. So need to find a way to reignite our passion. We can all feel the need for change, but lack clarity on the steps necessary for our transition.




1. I believe that women have an amazing positive feminine energy which when focused and committed can truly, dynamically transform and influence the lives and those around us.




Coaching can help harness this feminine energy and support you to create the life you want.




2. Procrastination can prevent you from really making the changes you want in your journey. They can leave you in self-doubt and dithering about your future.




Coaching can really support you in attaining clarity in your mind about your next steps.




3. As you look at the gulf between your current situation and where you want to get to, it can feel overwhelming.




Coaching can offer you an action plan, strategies and techniques' to support your transition into your purpose.




4. In your current career you may find that you are self-assured, assertive, confident and in complete control. However, when you think about what to do next, you find yourself, overwhelmed, unsure, unfocused and confused.




Coaching can refine your focus, as you examine your belief system and mindset; it can refocus you on who ulu really are and support you in celebrating your achievements. This will reaffirm your greatness, inspire and motivate you on your journey as you realise untapped potential.


5. As women we are relational, we are mumpreneurs, although we may have successful careers and not be running our own business. Nevertheless, we often define ourselves in relation to the roles we play as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters and friends, in addition to our careers. We are inter-dependent and we need connection. We need our tribe, we need someone to bounce ideas off.


A coach can listen and offer suggestions they support us as we navigate through life and continue on our journey.


A good coach does not only support your transition between careers. We are multi-dimensional women, who are holistic. A good coach provides support in whatever area we need. Supporting us in gaining clarity and a roadmap for our new path ahead.


Be blessed to be a blessing!